When I was around 6 or 7 in the mid 1990's, I was in my living room watching some afternoon cartoon on television when a commercial break began. I remember viewing two in particular almost back to back to one another before my cartoon resumed. They were both for two directly competing brands of household cleaners, each concluding with explicit statements that they were the #1 brand for this particular type of product.
"Wait..." I thought. "how can they both be the best? That doesn't make any sense."
I have pinned this moment, which I still somehow remember, as the beginning of my understanding as a child that adults (even on TV!) will lie for selfish reasons. Since then, I remember always being far more attentive to advertisements, very rarely "tuning them out" as I learned so many others do. I suppose on some visceral level I just simply did not want to believe a lie.
The First Saturn Opposition
I stuck with this tendency into my teenage years, where I took a much more rebellious path than any set of parents would have hoped for, constantly challenging authority figures and falling in with friends who would introduce some rather peculiar ideas and perspectives which only encouraged me to continue questioning things for myself. I bounced around between many paradigms throughout my youth, and even joined a punk band for a time where I learned of the supposed "horrors" of Capitalism, and the promise of alternative economic and social systems that would lead to the flourishing of humanity, away from the oppressive and destructive boots of the corporate titans. No doubt this was in some way sparked by the idea that was seeded in my head at so early an age that people will lie (i.e. abandon morality) for the sake of the dollar.
Luckily for me, this phase did not last. I have since learned that what we are usually taught to be Capitalism is anything but what it should have been, and that any alternatives have historically brought about far more suffering to humanity and the planet than the notion of free exchange of goods and services ever could. The rampant commercialization and commodification of everything in this world, however, is something we could all do much better without.
Religious Upbringing & Fallout
Perhaps paradoxically, I had also spent some of this time in the Evangelical Christian community of the U.S., having been raised Christian and then having that belief ramped up and codified in my mid-teens when my family became highly involved in a local church. This worldview held my fancy for a while, but eventually I found this lacking as well, and oppressive to my ability to think freely and independently. I had too many questions both coming from within and being asked from without by friends that no one could provide proper answers for.
I responded once again with rebellion, and like a pendulum began learning and quickly proselytizing materialistic, atheistic "science" everywhere I went. I fell in love with the study of evolution, and realized that it had been misconstrued throughout my life by my religiously inclined family circles. Coupled with my lifetime love of the outdoors and being immersed in wilderness, and it wasn't long before I decided to pursue an academic career in biology - particularly ecology and evolutionary biology.
Freedom from the Dialectic
But eventually I was forced to admit that both sides in this culture war argued in much the same way, by misrepresenting and straw-manning each other until all you had when they got together was like a pack of dogs barking rhetoric and dogmas at one another. Once again I realized, if I were to join either of these extremes, I would be had.
After some inner and outer exploration (a tale in itself), I came to discover that there were independent thinkers out there who themselves had also rejected the extremes, and championed out-of-the-box questioning and individuation. These great men and women continue to be a source of learning and inspiration for me, not as spoon-feeders of a paradigm, but as mentors for me as I walk my own path.
Discovering My Vocation
I've spent my young adult life working a variety of jobs, from waiting tables, to retail sales, to USDA forestry research, to serving as psychiatric ward nurses' assistant. Finally, I've found my calling in the field of education, having began this career in 2016 upon moving to Bangkok, Thailand.
However, my background knowledge in biology, health, and other fields was not being fully utilized. Although I had some opportunities to do run some part time classes horticulture classes, the majority of my time was spent teaching English grammar rules. And while I don't disparage in anyway those who feel called to that, I often felt I was spinning my wheels when I thought about the impact I could be having.
The Plan-demic Apocalypse
This started becoming abundantly clear in 2020. Said science background forced me to realize once again that the TV has only ramped up its lying game from the days of airing competing spray cleaner commercials. This time in the guise of a so-called "global health crisis" called Covid-19. I was cautious at first in the opening months of 2020 as the news media said nothing about it and very little was known, and even after for a time since I was aware there were circles among the elites who fantasized over depopulation methods and fear-based mind control.
But I quickly learned this Covid fiasco was much more in line with the latter, and saw that just about every measure that were being enacted by the self-appointed "experts" (the masks, the social distancing, the toxic chemical sanitizers, the experimental biotech injections, etc.) seemed aimed at actually exacerbating illness, rather than fighting it. And it was all justified under the erroneous claim that the pushers and movers were simply "following the science," while I an others were witnessing the exact opposite of science taking place.
From the rushed claims about the nature of the "pandemic" to the massive campaigns of censorship, alarm bells were ringing in my ears. After two years, I couldn't stand being around the abuse I witnessed happening to the children I was teaching under the guise of "protecting" them. As soon as I began voicing my concerns and acting in defiance to mandates, I was seen as a trouble-maker within a normally quite collectivist Thai culture, of which I was already an outsider. This lead to multiple conflicts between my superiors and me, so I resigned in December of 2021 to find a way to bring actual science and health education to my students, whoever they might end up being.
The Birth of Lifeology
That now brings me here. I have witnessed firsthand through multiple lenses what this modern day, low energy, fear and scarcity-based world has brought us to. And I know human beings, each with our own divine sparks, are capable of becoming. We just need an outlet to begin the healing process. As I have an aptitude and love for educating, I now wield it as my sword in the great war for the soul of our species and world.
The "Great Awakening," if there is such a thing, I believe will begin at ground level, with the soil, flora, and fauna. For it has always been this wholesome level of human existence that has provided a mainline connection to the Earth and the Divine. If I can offer a theoretical and practical means for people, particularly the younger generations, to re-establish this connection, then I know I will have done gladly that which I was meant to do.